Each year hundreds of films are released, across a wide range of genres and catering to all tastes. If you’ve ever dreamt of seeing a bronzed scientist hitting a wave on a jet ski and jumping out of the ocean to throw a grenade at a 200-foot dinosaur shark hybrid, chances are this Z-grade monster mash-up is for you.

Old trash master Roger Corman is at the producing controls here, and in the best tradition of his old exploitation houses like AIP or New World, the lurid poster and outrageous title are more important than the content. In this case Dinoshark was originally sold to SyFy, adding it to their stable of other creature features such as Sharktopus and Mega Python.

The plot, such as it is, concerns a prehistoric baby shark trapped in an iceberg for millions of years, that escapes due to global warming. Three years later junior has grown to giant size, and hero Trace McGraw (Eric Balfour) is trying to convince the scientific community and local population of the dangers that the shark is posing, after his friend is killed by the beast. No one believes him, despite a large fin and multiple bodies washing up on the shore.

Still here? Dinoshark is dreadful. Truly awful. Most films usually have something to recommend them, but Dinoshark is just so cheap and incredibly inept that it’s actually painful on the eyes. Director Kevin O’Neill appears to set his camera running and leave it to go and do something else. Balfour reads his lines off a card and looks (a) bored and (b) like he wants to kill his agent, and the CGI appears to have been taken from a mid-90s PlayStation game. There’s nothing wrong with trash — Piranha 3D was one of the most entertaining piles of junk released last year — but this is insulting to an audience who dare invest the time in it, a film obsessed with piling one bizarre scene on top of the other with no thought to continuity, pacing, drama or thrills. Sequel Dinocroc Vs. Supergator was released mere months later. Seriously, apart from SyFy, who is buying this stuff?

Dinoshark is available on DVD now

Posted by Rich Wilson

Falling in love with cinema after seeing Ridley Scott’s Alien at the age of nine years old, Rich has been obsessed with horror, westerns, martial arts and Japanese monster movies for the last 30 years. He has written for Q, Hotdog, Classic Rock, GoreZone and various websites, and is currently seeking a publishing house for his first novel.